Networking Magazine March 2009 Moxxie Meets

March 2009

Moxxie Meets
Stella Mendes,
Executive Vice President,
Madison National Bank

An Interview with Stella Mendes:

You were born in Angola, moved to Portugal and then came to the United States when you were 8 and settled in Queens. Why did your family move here and how did you feel about coming to America? My family moved here because my parents believed that there would be greater opportunity for my family, especially for their children. It was a lonely feeling to move to a new country where I did not speak the language and didn’t know anyone at my new school. Adjusting from a large house with trees and animals in Portugal to a small apartment in Queens was difficult and made me homesick.

How did you assimilate into the culture? It was a difficult change, not speaking English and going to a school where no one spoke Portuguese. I remember fondly my first American friend, Yvonne, who spoke Spanish. Although Spanish and Portuguese are different, there are several common words which made Yvonne the person I relied upon to get through the day. I remember those days as a frustrating experience, thinking that I would never learn to speak English.

What advice would you give others who are immigrating to America? Learn the language – watch English-speaking TV. Don’t be embarrassed to say something wrong or to ask for help.

So, do you and your family feel that America really is a place of opportunity? Absolutely, there is tremendous opportunity in this country and the freedom that we are afforded here is often taken for granted.

Are you a religious or spiritual person? Where do you get your strength from? Well, I raise my children as I was raised, in the Roman Catholic Church and we attend mass regularly. I am a believer in what comes around goes around and that everything happens for a reason. My strength comes from my strong family unit and the values that my parents instilled in me as a child and young adult. Life is not always easy and God only gives us what we can handle. Bad things may happen, but in those times, I try to remember all the blessings in my life, that many people deal with much worse and I am always hopeful that I will learn from life’s experiences and be a stronger person for them.

You have been married to Paul for 14 yrs. How did you meet? We met in a restaurant through a mutual friend, and I immediately knew that one day we would be married. I didn’t see him again for about a year. Then one of my very good friends along with one of his friends invited me to dinner and when they came to pick me up, Paul was with them and from that day on we were pretty much inseparable. We got engaged in less than a year. He had the kindest eyes, he reminded me of my father, strong and caring, and I was right.

What got you into banking? I started working part-time at Roslyn Savings Bank in the afternoons and evening while I was still in high achool. It was a good paying job and I enjoyed the environment. I liked it so much I stayed and moved up the ranks. Banking was not something I thought that I would want to do or enjoy, but I am glad life turned out this way.

How did you move up the ladder in banking? I started as a part-time teller and then became evening supervisor. After high school I started working full-time and worked in different departments in the Retail division. I was promoted to assistant supervisor of branch operations, and then continued to move up the ranks through the Retail Division. By early 2006, I was vice president and regional manager for NY Community Bank. Later that year, I started with Madison National Bank as their executive vice president and chief retail banking officer.

What do you consider your most defining moment in business? There have been a few, but the very first was when I was promoted to branch manager at the Roslyn Savings Deer Park location. With the team there, we enhanced our focus on customer service, increased the branch service hours and added an additional ATM. In my tenure there, deposits grew from $140 million to $300 million. It was a great learning experience for me and prepared me for my future in banking. Most recently and profoundly would be the tremendous opportunity to work with colleagues from my past and be part of creating Madison National Bank, which by far is my greatest professional accomplishment.

Your father was your first Mentor – how so? He taught me to be strong and believe in myself. He taught me that if you want something in life you have to work hard for it and it is not an accomplishment if it is given to you. I definitely get my work ethic and my strong convictions from him.

You mentioned that Dan Murphy (chairman and CEO of Madison National Bank) has been your lifelong career Mentor. How did he help you and where do you think you would be today without his mentoring? Dan was very generous with his time. He provided guidance, coaching and mentoring when I needed it as well as teaching me to ask for what I want in life and not to settle for what was given. I owe a great deal of my professional accomplishments to him. While I really enjoy my career, I love being involved with charity work. Dan taught me that my career advancements will afford me the opportunity to help others.

What was your biggest challenge in business and how did you overcome it? There have been many challenges in my business career but starting Madison National Bank has been the biggest by far. In some ways I am still overcoming it but the key for me has been that I truly enjoy my career and am proud of what we have accomplished as a company. My passion for this venture makes obstacles a little less daunting.

In your personal life? Three years ago while I was at New York Community Bank, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer – stage four. It was a shock and took us some time to gather our strength and deal with it. She was further along than originally thought and would need very aggressive treatment. She lives with me and takes care of my children when they are home from school. I had lost one parent and wasn’t going to lose another. At that moment, my priorities changed to her and my family and although difficult, I made the decision to resign from my successful career of 18 years to be with her for every doctor visit, chemo treatment and radiation.

Dan Murphy had left New York Community Bank prior to me but we had always stayed in touch. When my mother was done with her treatments he asked me to lunch and together with Michael Puorro asked me to be the executive vice president of the Retail Division at Madison National Bank. I was so happy at the thought of working with him again and as fate would have it, my mother had received her clean bill of health 2 days prior to my starting at Madison. It was meant to be.

What have you learned from the experience of your mother’s breast cancer? Life can change in a second and you can’t control everything. I also realized that being proactive about your own health is crucial. My mother is the first person in our family to have breast cancer, breast exams are so important and if you think something is wrong don’t give up until you are satisfied with what diagnosis makes sense to you.

Why do you think you are so community and charity focused? I was raised by wonderful parents who gave tremendous support and love and were generous with their time and money. Also, while at Roslyn, Mr. Mancino the Chairman and CEO, was very involved in philanthropy and encouraged everyone to be giving of their time and money, it left a significant impression on me.

Do you think that being a woman has impacted your career - either negatively or positively? As with most things there are always positive aspects as well as negative. Ultimately, I think that being a woman has impacted my career positively because I think I bring a different perspective to the table. I can’t change the behaviors of others, only how I react.

Successful business women need to be strong and demanding and it is a very fine line between being viewed as mean and uncaring or being too nice and seen as a pushover. How do you handle this? It is a fine line; I try to treat people how I would like to be treated - with respect and common courtesy. Obviously, you can’t always control how you are perceived but I try to be aware of how I conduct myself.

What if anything, have you given up for your career? With any successful career comes compromise; however, creating a balance of life and work can be done. I strive to achieve the best balance that affords time with my family and friends and a successful career.

What advice would you give to younger women? Don’t let anyone ever damage your self-esteem. If it feels wrong, then it is wrong. Take your education seriously and try different things. Don’t be discouraged and believe in yourself.

Hindsight is 20/20. What would you differently? I would have gone to college immediately following high school and invested more time in my professional development at an earlier age.

Do you think that would have changed where you are today? That is tough to answer because I am happy with where I am today and wouldn’t want to change that. But, I do think it would have changed where I am today.

You live with your husband, 2 children, your mother and have several pets. How do you juggle everything? What is your typical day like? During the week, my day begins with getting my children up and ready for school and then getting myself off to work. Typically, I will get home around 7pm and we almost always have dinner together as a family at home. Then I review homework with my children, we watch TV together or play a game and once they are in bed, usually around 9:30 pm, I do my own schoolwork. On the weekends is when I attend school and spend time with my family and friends. My days are packed, but fulfilling.

Does your career define you? No, my family and heritage define me. My brother and I were fortunate to be raised in a stabile environment with love and support where we knew that we mattered and were important. When I walked away from a successful career to care for my mother, it was a decision I will never regret. That doesn’t mean that my work is not important to me and I take great pride in this company and my contribution to it as well as the example I set for my children.

Do you ever take time for yourself? If you can count going to school, then yes. Otherwise any free moment I enjoy spending with Paul, Kayla, Ryan and the rest of my family. My children are my priority and my greatest joy and they will always know that. I have a full life that includes a dog, fish and birds.

What are your future plans? Continue to build Madison National Bank into an even more successful financial institution to be proud of and in turn give the Madison National Foundation the ability to give away $1 million a year to help charities. Also, pursue a master’s degree and then take over the world (just kidding!).

And finally, how can Moxxie help you? It can provide an organization to meet other successful women to share challenges, successes and failures. I would also like help young women starting out in business the opportunity to see what banking can offer them by way of internships. I think that this organization can be beneficial to women making their way by providing a vehicle to learn from other successful women.